Exasperdating | Giraffe Man
Job: Something to do with IT
There are all sorts of taboos in the dating world. Go out with someone too young and you’re branded a dirty old man. Someone too old, and all of a sudden you’re a twink. And then there are those labels like gold digger, sugar daddy and chubby chaser to contend with.
Interestingly, there’s not a phrase for people who are at odds in terms of height. But I really think there ought to be. In fact, I think we should actively encourage the stigmatisation of such unions. Let’s be honest, there’s nothing odder-looking than someone who’s vertically challenged going out with someone at the opposite end of the stature spectrum. I mean, you wouldn’t build a skyscraper right next to a bungalow now, would you?
Maybe it’s just a hang up of mine but I really don’t enjoy having to squint up at someone the whole time. But that’s precisely what happened on this encounter. My date was a cute, deep-voiced Aussie guy who happened to be 6’5”. I’m 5’8” (the national average for a man, I’ll have you know) and so spent most of my time gazing towards the heavens. It got to the point where I made the poor bloke walk in the gutter so I could benefit from the elevation that the kerb provided me.
Shame really, he was a nice-ish guy. But honestly, if I had gone out with him, people would’ve thought we were a freakshow at a circus. And in case you’re feeling sorry for this chap, I forgot to mention that he called me ‘dude’ throughout the evening.
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