Exasperdating | Man From Del Monte

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Exasperdaing | Man From Del Monte

Age: 39
Height: 5’10”
Build: Skinny
Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Job: Lecturer in Renaissance literature

Del Monte

Del Monte

There’s nothing worse than walking into a bar and not being able to spot your date. It often results in what I call ‘meerkating’ – that awful moment when, slightly panic-stricken, your head starts flicking uncontrollably from left to right as you desperately try to root out your beau for the evening. But there was no danger of that with this guy – he stood out like a sore thumb.

He was garbed (yes, ‘garbed’ because ‘wearing’ just wouldn’t be right in this instance) in a white man from Del Monte safari suit complete with panama hat. Granted he wasn’t actually wearing said chapeau but he had one with him nonetheless. Plus his trousers were pulled up to his mid-riff, Simon Cowell-style.

But I guess I knew what I was letting myself in for. He’d mentioned before that he was something of an eccentric. He’d let slip online that he got changed into full black-tie evening wear for dinner each night. But there was something rather House of Elliot-esque about that which I quite liked.

Fundamentally though, an odd-ball is an odd-ball and suffice to say the guy’s conversation was as bizarre as his get-up. He seemed incapable of completing a sentence without feeling the need to insert a punch-line. And, more often than not, said punch-line was a) devoid of comedy and b) followed up with a self-congratulatory pig-snort laugh. After one G&T, I ran for the hills and didn’t look back. The man from Del Monte? I say no.


3 thoughts on “Exasperdating | Man From Del Monte

  1. what the hell! A panama hat???

  2. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Hope there are plenty more equally ridiculous date stories to come. And I thought Sydney was bad!!

  3. There’s plenty more where that came from… 🙂

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